I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize