lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
