How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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