your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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