You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
