Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i need some magic done to my vagina
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
