Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
