how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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