Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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