The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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