My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
