best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
