wanna go halves on a baby?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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