So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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