When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
