i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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