I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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