she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
