evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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