i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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