i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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