Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
