she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
well you can't waste a boner
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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