I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
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