Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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