When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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