I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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