we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
