Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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