I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize