ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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