I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
