I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
