I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
