Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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