why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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