EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
