Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
whose ass print is on the piano?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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