Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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