I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Sober January is a disaster.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
