i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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