you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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