giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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