He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I take back everything I said about communal showers
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
