After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He better not be in your backpack
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
