Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
