your parents love me but you hate me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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