So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I look better un-naked...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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