My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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