great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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