I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
