a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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