whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
