Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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