dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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