normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
