You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize