I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
