So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
