This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
