This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
