Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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