Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
