Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
