so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
