ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
