I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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