I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
