I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize