If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
