Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
