FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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