Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
