after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Please don't give away my fajitas
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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