Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
