i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize